


The Rope You Tie Me To

by catteo



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-19 04:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catteo/pseuds/catteo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the choices you have are no choices at all.</p><p>Set post mid-S3 finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rope You Tie Me To

Elena’s whole body is bright white, fever hot. Fire burns, racing through her veins. She’s been fighting for so long that she barely remembers how to surrender. It takes her body only seconds to recognise the truth. It seems like a lifetime before her mind catches up. The acceptance is ultimately a relief. She never thought it would feel like this.

She suddenly feels like she’s free falling. Adrenaline racing through her with every heartbeat. Lungs constrict and she just needs to breathe again. To find a new normal. She’s finally accepted that nothing will ever be the same, but the choices she finds herself making are taking her further away from the person she thought she’d be. Running headlong into a future she’ll never escape.

She longs to remember what it is to be happy. Wishes she could recollect what a smile feels like on her lips. What the future felt like under her feet. She slides slowly to the floor, back to the door. The palms of her hands are the only part of her body that feels cool. As though they’re still touching his face. An aching counterpoint to the burn of her betrayal. She can’t help feeling like she keeps making all the wrong decisions. Takes a deep, shuddering, breath. Ignores the sting in her eyes and swallows the sharp taste of regret at the back of her throat.

Elena knows what it is to love. What it is to be prepared to sacrifice everything for others. How it feels to have them die for you. She lives every day with the suffocating guilt of her failures. Keeps parts of herself locked away tight from the world. Fears that the threads holding her together might entirely unravel if exposed to the sunlight. She prefers being in darkness now. The old Elena yearned for summer days and a bright future. That’s how she knows she’ll never be the same. Now she lives every day as though it might be her last. Longs for nights where she can hide herself away from the truth.

She wonders how any of them can pretend to be the people that they used to be. Supposes that some of them have had more time to perfect their act. Can’t help but think of Rebekah and the lies that she lived for a thousand years. The devastation on her face as she learnt what her brother had done. The shock in her eyes as Elena drove a stake through her back. The thought of it drives Elena to her feet. She hasn’t become this person to fail now. The face that looks back at her in the mirror looks remarkably like Katherine. She wonders briefly if that’s all anyone sees in her. The shadow of the one that came before. The one they will still follow with reckless abandon if she asks it of them. Decides that maybe it’s better not to know.

Katherine always understood how to make them fight. Elena prays that she can find the words to make Damon battle this time. She meant it when she told him that he would be the one to save Stefan from himself. Now she wonders if she’s the only one who still truly believes that. She recognised defeat in the slump of Damon’s shoulders. She’ll do anything to make him fight for his brother. Can’t imagine either of them without the other. Can’t imagine herself without the two of them. Wonders if any of them can really survive this.

Damon’s still standing in the centre of the room, a silhouette in the firelight. Broken shards of glass on the floor reflect back a hundred magnified flames. Burning up the last of a fractured past. Elena takes a breath, almost surprised at the ease with which it fills her lungs. He barely moves as she stands beside him. Only turns his head and looks at her with understanding. She knows he’ll never condemn her for making the same choices he once did. She takes his hand, twining their fingers together, raises it to her lips. Feels needle-sharp teeth puncture the tissue-thin skin inside his wrist. Tastes his hope, his fear, his blood. Turns.


End file.
